Olympic Logo Analysis

Some of you will have heard the psycho-analyst on the radio telling us that this logo is the new ink-blotch. What you see in it apparently says more about you than the logo.

See a broken jig-saw puzzle? Better get some counselling for those childhood disappointment issues.

Reminded of the SS collar pin? Get those repressed Nationalist Socialist urges seen to fast.

See oral sex? Spend a little less time on the Internet.

An evil transformer toy? Still in touch with that inner child.

A sumo wrestler taking a crap? Refer to Sigmund Freud.

So, what do I see in the logo? Why, it's a thing of inner beauty and excellence - of course.

Anyone else care to share what they see in the London 2012 Olympic logo? (All subsequent psychoanalysis provided free of charge.)

Olympic Logo Fall Out

I couldn't believe the scale of the nationwide negative response to the Olympic logo yesterday. Last night there were 8000 signatures calling for the logo to be scrapped - this morning there were 14,000 signatures. (I'm not gonna link to the petition.)

Give me a break, it's just a logo!
And it's a good one, at that! Think of the fun animations they'll squeeze out of it when it starts throwing the discus or jumping hurdles. The vehemence with which critics are calling to dump the logo is as disproportionate as the head-in-the-clouds idiots who attribute virtue and inspiration to the thing. It's just a logo!

But then, maybe it's an essential part of the British character to self mock. We need to come crashing down on ourselves for everything we do. I think that secretly, many Brits envy the Americans for their easy confidence to back themselves.

London 2012 and Utter Bollocks

As it happens, I like the new logo for the London Olympics in 2012.

See the four digits in there? 2012! Cool huh!

But what the hell is going on when this logo costs £400,000? No wonder the whole Olympics budget is hopelessly out of control!

What really gets me is the crap that the great and the good start to spout at a time like this:

Olympic Committee President Jacques Rogge -
"This is a truly innovative brand logo that graphically captures the essence of the London 2012 Olympic Games - namely to inspire young people around the world through sport and the Olympic values."

I thought it was jagged numbers. Ok, it comes in four colours, and soon they'll make the logo's arms and legs do athletic stuff - but inspire young people? values? It's a logo!

Lord Sebastian Coe -
"It's not a logo..."
For fuck's sake!

Olympics Minister Tessa Jowell -
"This is an iconic brand that sums up what London 2012 is all about - an inclusive, welcoming and diverse Games that involves the whole country. It takes our values to the world beyond our shores, acting both as an invitation and an inspiration."
What the fuck is she smoking?

Tony Blair -
"When people see the new brand, we want them to be inspired to make a positive change in their life."
From looking at the logo? What planet is he from?

London Mayor Ken Livingstone -
"The new Olympic brand draws on what London has become - the world's most forward-looking and international city."
What a pretentious wanker!

Following the Cricket

Australia and New Zealand have confirmed their places in the semi-finals. If you're having trouble telling your backward square leg from your silly mid off, then here's something to help.

And if you neither knew nor cared that the Cricket World Cup is in full swing in the West Indies, then you might like to start here:

Cristiano Ronaldo

I don't mind these foreign footballers coming over here and diving in the penalty box. But I can't put up with them using the word 'polemic' in the after-match interview.

If they're gonna play football in this country, they can bloody well learn to talk proper.

Topless Haka

Some New Zealand Maoris have been upset by a women's rugby team doing a topless haka. As a New Zealander, I'm so offended I can hardly speak.Any hint of disrespect toward the haka is tantamount to a cartoon of Mohammad's ugly mug in a Danish newspaper.

Lib Dem Says Loose and Quit

Liberal Democrat MP, Sandra Gidley in a caricature of her over-prescriptive, hater-of-excellence, all-must-be-mediocre, far-left self has called for an end to school sports days. She says schools fail to consider the feelings of children with little sporting ability... school sports days publicly humiliate children who finish last.

What a wonderful example of a socialist solution. Some fail, so no one can be allowed to succeed! All must be prevented from excellence so that no one's feelings will be hurt.

Apparently Gidley's feeble efforts on the school sports track left her so bitter that quitting was not enough. All must quit.

A right-of-centre solution focuses on individual freedom. I would insist on the right of children to refrain from public sports just as others choose to compete. I would also encourage participatory games that are more fun for the less competitive.

And perhaps more important for parents, teach children to enjoy participating in a variety of activities with different levels of proficiency. Win with grace, loose with dignity. Respect your opponents, give your best, develop character.

Coming last on sports day is not a humiliation. Sulking all the way to Parliament is.

Disability Sport is Not Elite Sport

I was torn to shreds the other day for daring to suggest that disability sports don't belong on TV. They're boring. The athletes are just not that good.

I mean no disrespect - I'm not that fast either. See Carl Lewis? I'm just not built like that. In my mid-thirties, I took up soccer. I'm pretty good for nearly-forty, short and slow. Against my peers, I hold my own. But I'm not asking you to watch it on TV.

In recent years disability sport has sky-rocketed in profile and coverage. We hear terms like 'elite athletes', and I appreciate that the guy with one leg trains hard, but he doesn't move like Carl Lewis either.

The Paralympics is about competitions for people who don't run so fast. Now, I'm all in favour of competing against people of your own level. It's more fun that way. That is participatory sport, not elite sport.

I think what really upset my colleagues was when I suggested having a chess competition for thick people. You could have a category for prefrontal lobotomy elite competitors, and another for those who could just never tie shoelaces. How about a beauty contest for the ugly? Get those people who don't look so good to compete against each other - and get government funding. No one could quite explain why the Paralymics are so wonderful and my suggestions cruel.

Disability sport is participatory sport, not elite sport. Give the athletes respect for having a crack at it, and let them hire the facilities. It is not world class and it is not worth watching.

One possible exception is wheelchair rugby.

Women's Rugby World Champions

Congratulations to the New Zealand Women's Rugby team - the Black Ferns. They are world champions again after beating England in the final on Sunday.

Canada was the tournament host, and placed a respectable 4th.

I haven't seen the New Zealand/England final, but these photos tell of a bone crunching encounter. (England is in white being shown the direct route to the South Pacific from Canada.)