Saturday, June 30, 2007

Congratulations and Thank You

Congratulations and thanks are due to the police who have made safe two car bombs in London.

An eye-witness reports a police officer climbing into a car to disconnect a mobile phone - possibly a detonation trigger. No one was hurt. Respect to those whose professional service saves life and limb.

On a side note, I can't help observing that for two car bombs, there was one parking ticket and one towing. A fairly average day in London to that point.

A doormat for all occasions

Yes... its for real...

Friday, June 22, 2007

From the US, With Love...

Apparently, not many people did. Al Gore got more of the popular vote but lost on a state level. Well, I guess we can be thankful for small mercies.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007


Think you're a genius? Can you solve this?
I took me a while, but there is an answer... I'll give you a clue, think back to high school trig and the ratios that apply to triangles.

I'll post the answer in a few days...

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Democracy - We Get What We Deserve

One thing I'll say for democracy - people get what they deserve. Those of us who remember the "time for a change" mantra of '97 know the shallowness of thought that won the country over. Blair's government has proceeded to ban anything unfashionable, remove our rights, and generally boss us around for our own good - and Britain deserved it. Britain chose it.

We even have the opposition we deserve. If we were a principled people, we would have a principled opposition. But principles don't pay in politics - the electorate neither understands nor desires them. The Conservative party knows better than to put a principled conservative in the leadership role. They've tried that - and the electorate burned them for it. So we have the vacuous Cameron - a showman like Blair - only with fewer principles.

The Palestinians elected Hamas. That's the thing about democracy. This may sound like a bitter injustice to the many good hearted Palestinians who want none of this madness, but they fail to form a critical mass. They will endure what their compatriots have chosen.

Heartless? No, I want something better for people. Pragmatic? Yes, I think the best option for government is to allow the people to choose. The down-side is that the people will get what they choose.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Just what does this mean?

  • "DANGER: Bouncing planes may strike your car."
  • "DANGER: Do not tie plane to car."
  • "DANGER: Planes equipped with Star Wars Hoth-style tow ropes."
  • "DANGER: Airplane lavatory may leak onto your car."
  • "DANGER: Vehicle launched missiles used in this area."

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Olympic Logo Analysis

Some of you will have heard the psycho-analyst on the radio telling us that this logo is the new ink-blotch. What you see in it apparently says more about you than the logo.

See a broken jig-saw puzzle? Better get some counselling for those childhood disappointment issues.

Reminded of the SS collar pin? Get those repressed Nationalist Socialist urges seen to fast.

See oral sex? Spend a little less time on the Internet.

An evil transformer toy? Still in touch with that inner child.

A sumo wrestler taking a crap? Refer to Sigmund Freud.

So, what do I see in the logo? Why, it's a thing of inner beauty and excellence - of course.

Anyone else care to share what they see in the London 2012 Olympic logo? (All subsequent psychoanalysis provided free of charge.)

Olympic Logo Fall Out

I couldn't believe the scale of the nationwide negative response to the Olympic logo yesterday. Last night there were 8000 signatures calling for the logo to be scrapped - this morning there were 14,000 signatures. (I'm not gonna link to the petition.)

Give me a break, it's just a logo!
And it's a good one, at that! Think of the fun animations they'll squeeze out of it when it starts throwing the discus or jumping hurdles. The vehemence with which critics are calling to dump the logo is as disproportionate as the head-in-the-clouds idiots who attribute virtue and inspiration to the thing. It's just a logo!

But then, maybe it's an essential part of the British character to self mock. We need to come crashing down on ourselves for everything we do. I think that secretly, many Brits envy the Americans for their easy confidence to back themselves.

Monday, June 04, 2007

London 2012 and Utter Bollocks

As it happens, I like the new logo for the London Olympics in 2012.

See the four digits in there? 2012! Cool huh!

But what the hell is going on when this logo costs £400,000? No wonder the whole Olympics budget is hopelessly out of control!

What really gets me is the crap that the great and the good start to spout at a time like this:

Olympic Committee President Jacques Rogge -
"This is a truly innovative brand logo that graphically captures the essence of the London 2012 Olympic Games - namely to inspire young people around the world through sport and the Olympic values."

I thought it was jagged numbers. Ok, it comes in four colours, and soon they'll make the logo's arms and legs do athletic stuff - but inspire young people? values? It's a logo!

Lord Sebastian Coe -
"It's not a logo..."
For fuck's sake!

Olympics Minister Tessa Jowell -
"This is an iconic brand that sums up what London 2012 is all about - an inclusive, welcoming and diverse Games that involves the whole country. It takes our values to the world beyond our shores, acting both as an invitation and an inspiration."
What the fuck is she smoking?

Tony Blair -
"When people see the new brand, we want them to be inspired to make a positive change in their life."
From looking at the logo? What planet is he from?

London Mayor Ken Livingstone -
"The new Olympic brand draws on what London has become - the world's most forward-looking and international city."
What a pretentious wanker!

Leaving the Seat Up or Down

Careless of lowering the tone of this blog - the following insight affects us all.

Everyone knows you should leave the toilet seat down after use - except for men who need it up. Surely, if a woman in the household has just gone (stay with me here) this increases the likelihood of a man being next. Quite complicated, really. In fact, the true cost of either strategy (up or down) depends on the constituency affected and the probable reactions of said parties.

At any rate, many would agree that certain people need some decision-making help in this thorny field.
Thankfully, with the deft use of game theory, The Science Creative Quarterly mathematically modeled the cost to John or Marsha.

Please print off the above table as a ready-reference to post in shared convenience facilities.