Monday, April 02, 2007

Great Mysteries of Life

1 Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

2 Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

3 Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

4 Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

5 Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

6 Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

7 Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him?

8 Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

9 Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

10 What is the speed of darkness?

11 Are there specially reserved parking spaces for non-disabled people at The Special Olympics?

12 If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

13 If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

14 If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

15 Why do cars have a three-point seatbelt while planes have only a lap-belt?

16 Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

17 If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

18 Can you cry under water?

19 What level of importance must a person have, before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

20 If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

21 Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

22 How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?

23 Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?

24 If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

25 Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

26 Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change? ............ they're still going to see you naked anyway.

27 Why don't we spell phonetic the way it sounds?

28 Is it just me, or is it weird that weird has an i after the e instead of before. Is that why it's weird?

29 If someone's crying, why do we ask if they're OK?

I was trying to hit thirty, poaching some classics from off the net, but I couldn't quite get there. If you have any other bona fide great mysteries of life, please leave a comment...


David Anthony said...

Why does anyone write a blog?

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

1. Why do people think that when you've heard press o for operator, you'll bother to listen to the other options?

LUIS DA CRUZ said...

1. Why is it said that "Seeing is believing" when actualy seeing is knowing? One can believe only if one has neither seen nor any proof. Once one sees or has a proof, then there is no room for believing but it is real fact/knowledge.

2. Why is a human heart related to love, hate and other feelings, when actually it is only a blood pump? Does guts' feeling, love, hate not dwell in ones mind, conscience and or soul? May be just because the blood keeps the heart warm. (We shake hands to exchange the warmth in our palms)

Colin Campbell said...

Why do 24 hour convenience stores have locks on the door?

Anonymous said...

Why would you put so much effort lifting a barbell just to put them back on the floor again?